A Hirako Family Reunion
++ A oneshot of the Hirako family coming together for some
quality time ++
Shinji sat at his desk in his office, pretending to work on paperwork, when really, he had a couple of folders set up to conceal what he was really doing
which was reading hentai. He grinned lecherously as he flipped through the pages, imagining himself and his favorite subordinate, Mari, in the same positions as the couple in the panels. He shifted in his seat, already getting hard
He jerked in surprise when his fukutaicho, Momo, walked into the office, startling him. "Shit!" he muttered, when the wind coming in from her opening the door blew the folders down, revealing what he had been trying oh-so-hard to hide.
Momo, however, merely rolled her eyes. "I don't understand why you try and hide that when everyone knows you read it."
"Aww, naïve Momo-chan," her captain replied, "I don't want Mari-chan ta think I'm a letch!"
"It's much too late for that, taicho," Momo laughed. She held out a small envelope to him. "This came in for you."
He raised an eyebrow in surprise and took the letter. His expression turned into a grimace in seeing the familiar gold emblem that represented the family seal. Sighing, he opened it and was about to read it, though he glanced behind him to see Momo leaning over his shoulder, trying to take a peek.
Do ya mind?"
"Oh, not at all, taicho!" Momo said sweetly, tilting her head to the side. "Please, continue."
Shinji rolled his eyes and began to read. His eyes went wide and he muttered, "Shit
? What's wrong?" Momo asked, though he was already up and out of the door, heading to his little sister's barracks.
He knocked once on her door, though grew irritated when she didn't answer. He knew she was in there, he could feel her Reiatsu, so why wouldn't she open the damn door? "Screw it," he muttered, opening it anyway. He smacked his hand against his forehead when he saw Kiku dancing on her bed, headphones jammed into her ear. Is she singin' in English
? And it was then that he figured out that she was obviously singing a song from The Ready Set, as she was obsessed with that boy
Kiku hadn't even heard her brother walk in, nor did she hear him shouting her name a dozen times. Finally, he went over and pulled the headset out of her ears.
"Nii-sama!" she screeched, glaring at him. "That was so rude of you!"
He ignored her and instead shoved the letter in her face and she pulled it away, sticking her tongue out at him before reading it. "A family reunion?" she said aloud.
"Ya can go and tell 'em I'm dead."
"Aww, c'mon, nii-sama," Kiku pled, plopping down onto her futon. "These get-togethers aren't so bad! Don't you wanna see Uncle Kin, Mama, Papa, and everyone else?'
"Hell no," he seethed. "It's annoyin' as hell ta be there and I'm pretty damn sure Dad's just gonna get onto me about my hair."
"Probably," Kiku agreed, nodding. "But you know he'll just pop into your office if you don't show up, so either way, you're doomed. You might as well get it over with!"
Shinji ran a hand through his hair, sighing heavily. He had no choice, but
his lips then curled into a smile. That didn't mean he could make the visit less torturous for himself.
Kiku crossed her arms over her chest, eying him suspiciously. "What are you thinking
"I'll be less lonely if my Mari-chan is with me!" he exclaimed.
"Hey, wait a minute!" Kiku protested, running after her brother.
He found his "kitten" hiding behind a tree, stuffing mochi ice cream balls in her face. When she turned around to see her taicho, her eyes widened and her face turned bright red, humiliated at having him see her like this. Shinji, on the other hand, thought she looked absolutely adorable, and plopped down next to her. "Hey, Mari-chan," he greeted, running a hand through her hair, though she leaned away, and squeaked when she bumped into Kiku, who had also taken a seat next to her on the other side, all the while glaring at Shinji.
"Say, there's gonna be a family reunion tomorrow," Shinji began, "I was wonderin' if ya can come? I get so damn bored there and havin' ya there will make it less gruesome!"
?" Mari eyes widened, and she shook her head, confused. "To meet taicho's family? But why?"
"I wanna introduce everyone ta my most important person!"
Mari turned bright red at his statement, though she declined. "I'm not apart of the family
" she said quietly, fiddling with a blade of grass. Not to mention she was also fearful they wouldn't accept her.
"Ah, that's too bad," Shinji sighed. He leaned against the tree, placing his hands behind his head. "Yeah, they were gonna import ice cream from the World of the Living at tha feast
Mari bit her lower lip
ice cream? That was the most delectable treat in the universe! "Ah, um, well
if taicho wants me to, then I guess I can!"
"Yes!" Shinji yelped with joy and tried to hug her, though Marise squeaked and hid behind Kiku, who glowered at her brother.
"That's not fair!" she cried immaturely. "If nii-sama gets to bring Mari-chan, then I'll bring taicho!"
Shinji shrugged. "Ya can do what ya want," he said.
"I will!" she huffed, and she got up to do so, though Mari was still clinging onto her Shinigami uniform.
!" He held out his arms and beckoned with his hands, "Gimme back my Mari."
"You don't deserve her
but here!" Kiku gently pushed Mari into her brother's arms, and while he grinned giddily, Kiku went off to find Kensei.
! TAICHO, TAICHO, TAICHO!"
"I'm right here!" Kensei barked, coming out of the shower. Kiku turned bright red from the neck up in seeing her captain (and crush) clad only in a towel around his waist and another hanging over his shoulders, which he had used to dry his short hair.
" Kiku fumbled, feeling like a complete and utter dunce.
Kensei's eyebrows went up in surprise at her change in attitude, and while he found it cute, after a few moments, he grew irritated. "Spit it out!" he snapped.
"W-will you come to my family reunion? Nii-sama is brining Mari-chan, so I wanted to ask you
"No," he said simply, shocking Kiku. "It's bad enough to deal with you and Shinji. I don't wanna know what your entire family is like."
Kiku looked down at the ground and begin to whimper, wiping at nonexistent tears under her eyes, though Kensei couldn't see. "O-okay
if that's how you want it
" Her shoulders began to tremble as she wept, and Kensei's eyes widened.
"Ugh, all right," he groaned, sighing in defeat. "I'll go. But I won't like it." He became shocked again when Kiku lifted her head, her face immediately brightening, as though she had never been sad in the first place. He turned slight red when she squealed with joy and hugged him tightly, and he awkwardly patted her on the back.
Idiot. He thought, though there was a ghost of a smile on his face.
Even though the reunion wasn't until tomorrow afternoon, Kiku and Shinji had to head out a day earlier to greet the extended family, and so went on ahead while Kensei and Mari would have to wait and meet them tomorrow.
They traveled in a carriage and Shinji rolled his eyes, thinking it was the dumbest thing ever. "Why tha hell can't we just shunpo there?" he asked. He felt like
some sort of English gentleman, riding in an old-fashioned horse-drawn carriage.
"Okaa-san sent it special for us," Kiku explained. "You know how she gets when her children don't listen to her."
"Yeah, yeah," he muttered. Really, their mother would only yell at him as Kiku was the favorite in the family. Why was he always the tortured one?
After several hours they finally reached the estate, which was fairly large. Although the Hirako clan wasn't one of the four noble families, it was still high-ranking, and so they had quite a bit of wealth. Shinji and Kiku got out of the carriage and entered the large abode, and were immediately swarmed by their family.
First came their mother, Mizuki, who was clad in a beautiful kimono. Her long blonde hair fell over her shoulders and rested on her ample bosom, and she had the same brown eyes that her two children had.
"Shinji! Kiku!" she exclaimed in delight, gathering them both in one large hug, burying them in her large chest.
"Err, this is kinda a lil' more than awkward, okaa-san," Shinji grunted. She let them go and just gushed about how happy she was to see them, how long it had been, commenting on Kiku's bust size, causing the small girl to blush bright red. She was extremely affectionate with her children, being the outgoing woman that she was.
"Papa!" Kiku cried in joy, running to her father.
Yuudai was a tall man, wearing a green and gold kimono. He had shaggy brown hair, green eyes, and it was apparent that Shinji's grin was inherited from him, though this man's face was set into a scowl. However, he smiled at his daughter, patting her on the head. He then glared at Shinji, an eyebrow raised. "What tha hell did ya do with yer hair, boy?" he snorted.
"I'm a grown-ass man, I'll do whatever tha hell I want with my hair!" Shinji retorted. Kiku and Mizuki sighed, rolling their eyes as the two got into an argument
over his haircut.
"Alright, that's enough!" Mizuki scolded, breaking them up. "You're not going to ruin this family reunion with your constant bickering, do you hear me?"
"Hmph," Shinji muttered, turning around and crossing his arms. "He started it."
"What did you say, young man?"
"N-nothin', okaa-san!" Shiniji said with a nervous laugh.
"Good," she replied, smiling again. She clasped her hands together, her brown eyes brightening. "I hear that two special guests will be coming tomorrow? Hmm, so tell me who they are!" She began poking her children teasingly. "Are they your lovers? Is it serious? Have you slept with them yet?"
" Kiku sputtered, blushing. "You have to promise not to embarrass me tomorrow!"
"Yep, Mari-chan and I have been together for a while now!" Shinji boasted proudly.
"You liar!" his sister barked, glaring at him. "Mari-chan doesn't even like you!"
Shinji frozen and choked, "Th-that's
so cold, sis
Mizuki rolled her eyes and dismissively waved her hands at them. "Well, we'll be excited to meet them all the same. Come say hi to the rest of the family!"
They were taken to another large room where the rest of the family was waiting, and Shinji looked around. "Hey, where's Kin-oji
SHIT!" he cried, when said uncle popped out of nowhere and tackled him.
The man grinned down at his nephew. "Time for noogies!" he exclaimed, burying his fist into Shinji's head.
"Damn it! 'Uncle' already, I give up!" Shinji cried. Kin let go of him and tried to appear innocent.
"It's like you're not happy to see me, Shin? It's me, Captain Awesome!"
"Yeah, I know who ya are," Shinji muttered, fixing his hair. "And yer tha one who gave yerself that nickname, just ta let ya know. So no one else calls ya that."
"Tch, you're becoming just like Yuudai!"
"Like hell I am! Don't fuckin' compare us!"
Kiku laughed at the hilarious display and heard her two arguing aunts coming from the kitchen, Ai and Shika. Ai was Kin's wife and was very opposite to him, quiet and graceful, with long, curly red hair and deep violet eyes. However, it seemed that whenever she was around Shika, who was their other uncle, Mamoru's wife, she would become a fiery woman.
"I'm telling you that the décor you chose was appalling! It looks barbaric!" Ai screeched.
Shika looked at flamboyant as ever in her fancy kimono and fiery red hair styled in a dramatic fashion. "Mizuki-chan left the decorations to me, and the food to you. Stick to your own duties, brat!"
"Why, I should
! Oh, Kiku-chan! Shinji!" the woman exclaimed, running to them. Noticing Shinji still fixing his hair, she glared at her husband. "Why do you treat him like he's still a child?"
Kin grinned sheepishly at his wife. He also had the same smile as Shinji and his brother. "What? I was just having some fun."
Ai rolled her eyes at him and pulled some candy out of the sleeves of her kimono. "Here you go!" she gushed.
thanks," Shinji said, taking a piece of candy, while Kiku took several.
"And you say I treat them like kids!" Kin exclaimed, flabbergasted.
"Don't argue with me," she hissed, narrowing her eyes at him. That immediately shut "Captain Awesome" up.
Shinji looked to see another uncle come in, the oldest of his father's brothers, Mamoru. He had long brown hair held in a ponytail and slightly darker skin. Trailing behind him were his two children and Shinji and Kiku's cousins, Koji and Ume.
"Good to see you guys again," Mamoru greeted, patting Shinji on the back while ruffling Kiku's hair. "How's the Gotei holding up without me?"
Shinji smiled wryly. "Pretty damn well, now that I've become taicho again, right, Kiku-chan?"
But Kiku had gone over to give her two cousins a big hug. "Umeeee-chan! Kojiiii-chan!" she squealed.
Ume hugged her cousin back tightly while Koji stood stiff in her grip. "Where's that perverted cousin of mine?" Ume asked brashly, placing her hands on her hips. She was the same age as Shinji, though they didn't get along as she disliked his lecherous behavior.
"Why do I only have enemies in this house?" Shinji asked with a sigh. "Ah well, Koji understands me, right?"
Koji just shrugged. "I guess," he mumbled.
As talkative as ever, I see," Shinji said, rolling his eyes. He looked around and furrowed his brows together in confusion. "Hey, okaa-san
where are the others?" he asked, referring to the Okuran side of the family.
"Oh, they'll be coming tomorrow," Mizuki explained, carrying some extra bed sheets for the futons in the guest room. "You know they have to travel a long way."
"Oh," Shinji said. He had hoped they wouldn't be coming at all. "Then I have ta see Kamiko, shit
" he muttered.
Kiku rolled her eyes. "You're being so dramatic, isn't that Mari-chan's job? You two used to have fun as kids all the time!"
"Have fun?" Shinji cried. "Pushin' me down a well ain't fun! And she ain't tha only one! You always got me in trouble too!'
Kiku gasped, "Well, I never! How can you accuse your sweet sister like that? Nii-sama is terrible!"
"DON'T TRY TA ACT INNOCENT!"
Mizuki pulled Shinji by the ear toward the dining room. "Stop arguing! Let's eat dinner!"
The next day, it was Kensei and Mari's turn to take a ride in the carriage to the Hirako manor. (And they also wondered why they couldn't just shunpo there.)
Kensei remained quiet sitting next to Mari, his arms crossed over his chest. He stared straight ahead, and tried to ignore the raspy breathing next to him, though after a few minutes he got so annoyed. He glanced to his right and his eyes bugged out when he saw Mari
"What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked.
"I-I-I-I'm so n-n-nervous!" Mari squeaked, her hands pressed tightly to her heaving chest, over her rapidly beating heart. "Wh-what if they don't like me? What if taicho's mother and father and the rest of his family all hate me?" She looked down at herself and tears welled up in her eyes. "You don't think this yukata is too gaudy, do you? Does it make me look fat? I thought about wearing the short one, but it'd show my stubby ankles, so I chose this one, but then I realized that the obi sash was a little tight, and yesterday I went on a ten hour diet in hopes that I would lose a few kilograms, but
nothing!" she ended, hiccupping a sob.
Kensei stared at her for a few minutes before slowly turning his head away, scooting to the edge as far as the seat would let him. Why am I always stuck with the crazies
? And what kind of idiot thinks they could lose a significant amount of weight in less than a day? "Look," Kensei huffed. "It's not a big deal."
"Of course it is!" Mari screeched. "You like Kiku-chan, don't you?"
where did you get that from?"
"And to win her heart," Mari continued, blatantly ignoring his question, "You have to impress her parents! This is obvious!"
" he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. He let out a huff and found himself beginning to worry, damn that girl
"You think they won't like me?"
Mari shrugged. "I don't know
I would say so because of your Yanki piercing and hair, but then again, taicho has the same problems and his family accepts him, so
maybe you'll be okay
but that hair
it needs to be fixed! It shows you have no care for your outward appearance!"
"You think?" He asked, running a hand through his hair subconsciously.
"Absolutely! Here, I'll fix it," Mari said. She spit in to her hand and rubbed it against the other.
"Whoa, h-hold on!" Kensei cried. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Mari leaned over and tried to place her hands on Kensei's head to "fix" his hair, though he grabbed her wrists and held her at bay, having to resort to lifting his leg to shove his foot in her face.
fix it!" Mari whined, flailing her arms, trying to grab him.
"Your hands are covered in spit!" he barked. "Like hell I'm gonna let you come near me!"
"The Hirako family will never accept you if you don't live up to their expectations!" she shrieked, sounding more and more hysterical.
"Oh, look, we're here!" Kensei exclaimed in relief when they saw the estate come into view. Mari pulled away with a huff and they got out once they arrived. Mari gulped in a nervous breath, feeling intimidated just from the size of the manor. As they stepped out of the carriage, Kensei and Mari looked to see more carriages being pulled in. A woman stepped out and three women followed behind her. In the carriage behind, three more young ladies got out.
Kensei looked to see Mari's lower lip quiver. "Now what?" he groaned, irritated, knowing he would regret asking.
"Th-they must be taicho's suitors!" she squeaked. "I didn't know the Hirako clan was that kind of traditional family that would still do arranged marriages
those must be the candidates!" Mari's face fell as she looked at each one of them. "They're so beautiful
and thinner than me too! M-maybe we should go back!"
"Are you kidding?" Kensei retorted, curling his lip up. "I didn't come all this way just to turn around. Now quit your blubbering, it's getting on my fucking nerves." And how can they be suitors when they have kids?
!" Mari paused, her eyes widening when she saw Kiku and Shinji step out. They spotted Kensei and Mari and waved, though everyone was ushered inside and in the hustle and bustle, Mari glanced behind her, crestfallen when she saw Shinji talking to a girl with short black hair and brown eyes
it looked like they were laughing. Mari's lower lip quivered. Shinji seemed to be interested in that girl
what if he had already selected her as his fiancé? She wanted to cry.
"Yay, you guys came!" Kiku squealed, hugging Mari and Kensei after greeting her aunt and six cousins. Shinji eyed Mari curiously, wondering why she was keeping her distance from them.
Kiku took both Mari and Kensei's hands and led them to their mother. "This is my Mama, Mizuki. Mama, meet Mari-chan and Muguruma Kensei, my taicho!"
" the woman mused, looking over both of them. She first scrutinized Kensei, who shifted, feeling slightly uncomfortable over having a woman (especially with the woman being Kiku's mother), scan over his body. He froze when she said, "Hmm
nice build, and I love the tattoo. To pass the examination, please remove your hakama pants."
"MAMA!!!" Kiku screeched, bouncing around her in embarrassment.
"I just want to make sure he's good enough for you, sweetie!" her mother defended, though seeing Kiku glare at her, she said, "Oh, fine, fine
" and moved onto Mari. Her eyebrows went up in surprise at the fact that her son would be interested in such a cutesy type of girl
she would have thought he'd go for the more serious type. Mari trembled under her gaze, incredibly nervous, yet she felt it shouldn't matter anyway
it was hopeless because of the girl who had been with Shinji, so there was no point in trying to impress his mother.
"M-Mizuki-dono?" Mari cried, when the woman grabbed her breasts. Tears of embarrassment welled at her eyes and she was unsure of how to react with her taicho's mother fondling her breasts.
"Hmm, nice size and feel to it, and they seem real
not like rubber like you see some of the noblewomen who went and got surgery
tch," Mizuki murmured, nodding her head much to Mari's humiliation.
"Damn it, okaa-san, ya can't grope her before I do!" Shinji cried, finding his mother to be acting incredibly creepy
so, he got his smile from his father and his perverted-ness from his mom. Great.
"Now, Shinji, no need to get upset. She seems like a fine girl
I love her hair!" she coolly replied. She removed her hands from Mari and patted her affectionately on the head. "You're a cute girl, a fine match for my son."
Mari blushed and looked at the ground. "Thank you, Mizuki-dono." But taicho likes another girl
The family traditions began, which first involved telling stories. The entire family sat outside (as did the guests, Mari and Kensei), and they all sat on the ground as the first person went up to tell her tale. Mari learned her name was Kamiko and she couldn't' help but feel a twinge of jealousy when she began telling a story of they she and Shinji were younger.
Marise bit her lower lip, feeling bitter. I can't complete with a childhood friend! It was that romantic tale of two who knew each other as kids, find each other after so many years, become lovers, get married, have kids
! Gah, it was too depressing for her to think about! She now felt more insecure and hopeless than before.
Afterward, the family played charades, mah-jong, and a few other games before they all sat around for a huge feast at the table. It was lavished with numerous aromatic dishes, miso soup, fried rice, steak, octopus dumplings, beef stew, potato salad, and a plethora of others.
Everyone around the table was talking amiably; even Kensei had warmed up to the Hirako family. The children from the Okuran side had also taken a liking to him, much to his displeasure, and continuously arose from their seats at the children's table to tug on his sleeve and ask him silly questions, like what he did as a captain and what his tattoo mean and other embarrassing things.
Kiku was beaming in watching Kensei get along so well with her family. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, although Mari was the only one who ate her food quietly, moving it around on her plate with her chopsticks. She wanted to participate in the conversations, to smile and laugh like everybody else around her, but all she could hear was Kamiko's voice.
"And so then there was another time when Shinji and I
"Wh-why don't you just marry each other and be happy already?" Mari blurted, unable to take anymore.
The entire table went quiet and Shinji looked at her queerly, a little more than confused. "Marry
what are ya talkin' 'bout, Mari?"
Marise squeaked in embarrassment, wishing she could take back what she just said. "U-um
" she began, her eyes widening. "I-isn't she
Kamiko and Shinji looked at each other, both their brows furrowed and noses wrinkled in disgust.
"Him?" she said, at the same time he said, "Her?" Then they both exclaimed, "Eww!"
"Mari," Shinji began with a chuckle, "Kamiko-chan is my cousin, not my fiancé. Is that why ya've been actin' funny? 'Cause ya were jealous? That's so cute! C'mere, I'll give ya some attention!" He patted his leg, though Mari wasn't in the mood for his humor.
Mari placed her hands on her blushing cheeks and shook her head. "I-I'm so embarrassed!" she whimpered. She jumped up from her chair and ran out of the dining room, up some stairs and through hallways, until she finally came to a stop. Wh-where am I
? She thought, looking around. Her shoulders slumped as she realized she didn't know how to get back downstairs.
Sighing, she walked down a hallway and came across an open doorway that led out to a balcony. Seeing as she had nothing else to do, she went out to sit on the balcony, and looked up at the night sky. The stars shone brightly and the crescent moon peeked from behind some dark clouds, and Mari thought it would be just her luck if it began to pour down on her.
She gasped in hearing a rustle from behind, and when she turned around, she was afraid it might be Shinji, though her eyes widened when she instead saw Yuudai. She turned back around and looked down at her interlaced fingers. For a moment, neither said anything, though finally, Yuudai broke the silence.
" he said gruffly. "He's such a damn fool." Mari grew surprised in hearing him say this
a father would talk about his son this way? And when he continued to go on about how useless, idiotic, and reckless Shinji was, Mari found that she couldn't listen to anymore.
"Taicho is not stupid!" she blurted, startling Yuudai. "He is the greatest taicho ever!" A blush spread across her cheeks as she continued, but she wanted to tell his father this
"Even though he is a pervert and a goofball, Hirako-taicho is really smart, caring and strong!" She narrowed her eyes at Yuudai and scolded, "A father should appreciate their son more!" She gasped and covered her mouth, letting out a squeak. How could she speak to her captain's father in such a disrespectful way? "Y-Yuudai-dono, please forgive me for what I said!"
Her eyes widened when she saw his grimace (which was all she had seen since she had arrived) turn into a small grin. She couldn't help but blush, thinking that Shinji had inherited the spitting image of his father's smile.
"I know my son's not a complete failure," he said. He pointed at her. "You're proof of that." Mari was slightly confused, though he stood up and watched him leave, and he beckoned her to follow. "Let's go back downstairs."
When they arrived, Shinji sighed in relief and grasped her by the shoulders. "Don't scare me like that!" he chided gently. He turned to see his father placed a hand on his shoulder and he raised an eyebrow.
"You better be careful, otherwise you might lose her for real," Yuudai warned.
It got even later with night falling upon them and it was time for the four Shinigami to head back to Seireitei. They said their goodbyes and took a carriage back (Mizuki had insisted, and what she wants, she gets), with Mari and Shinji sitting on one side and Kiku and Kensei on the other.
It wasn't long after that Mari soon fell asleep, leaning against Shinji. He chuckled and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer.
Kensei looked at the sleeping girl and snorted. "What an idiot," he said gruffly. "Embarrassing herself by acting so jealous. You'd never see me act that way."
Kiku huffed, though a small smile appeared on her face as she decided to tease him. She leaned forward and asked her older brother, "Say, nii-sama, didn't Mama say that some suitors were going to come by for me next week?"
Shinji's eyebrows went up in surprise, though he grinned when he realized what she was doing. He looked to see Kensei livid, his face bright red with anger, which contrasted interestingly with his hair. "I'll kick their ass if they come within ten feet of you!" he roared.
Kiku giggled, though instantly stopped when Shinji decided to do some teasing.
"Well, if ya wanna know how she tried to impress the first boy she liked
"NII-SAMA, NO! YOU'RE NTO GOING TO TELL THAT STORY!" she cried. She got up and tried to jump on him to pummel him, though he snickered and put a hand in her face.
"Hey, you'll wake up my kitten!" he hissed, though surprisingly enough she was still sound asleep against him.
"Then don't tell the story!" she screeched.
Kensei watched the two siblings continue to bicker and he rolled his eyes.
The Hirako family
there was none other like them.